Friends without borders
- harriet1811
- Jun 17
- 4 min read
Updated: Jun 25
CROSS-CULTURAL CONNECTION
A Londoner whose mother fled the Nazis and an Afghan medic have formed a close bond. The fact that they come from very different cultures has never stood between them.
“It just seemed such a wonderful idea,” recalls Danny, (above, left) thinking back to when he was first introduced to Abdullah (name changed). “I have always had a deep interest in refugee issues because of my mother Liesl’s experience. She escaped from Prague in 1939 on the Kindertransport and was grateful all her life to Britain for welcoming her.”
Danny’s eye was caught by an interview in The Kentishtowner newspaper about a start-up charity seeking friends for refugees. He was immediately hooked and met our founder, Anneke.
She explained she had an Afghan doctor in mind, who needed a friend with professional experience. Danny, who has a background in the public and charitable sectors, was a great fit.
“It ticked all the boxes for me. What made this offer so captivating was that it was simply about friendship!” DANNY, befriender
Abdullah had fled to London from Kabul in fear of his life. He is a medical doctor who ran a big non-governmental health organisation in Afghanistan. Overnight he became a refugee. The change of status from one life to another was dramatic.
“When you have a family, a good job, a good life, a nice house and suddenly you have to leave everything, it’s not easy.” ABDULLAH, former refugee
His arrival was no soft landing, as Abdullah explains: “I suffered a lot of racist issues in the city where the Home Office sent me. For five months I could barely leave the house. I felt I was in prison.”
A challenging time
The Afghan had been forced to leave his wife and children behind in Afghanistan. Not knowing if or when he would be reunited with them was torment: “I was very worried about my family. It was only thanks to my medical background that I didn’t suffer mental health problems at that time. I knew I had to stay busy and purposeful.”
He moved to London and was put in touch with HostNation to find a befriender. Before long, he was meeting regularly with Danny.
“So many unexpected things have come from this friendship! I have no words that express how Danny has supported me and my family.” ABDULLAH
The two men would meet up for coffee or a meal, and work through whatever Abdullah had on his mind. “Danny is not only my friend, he’s also my teacher,” he says. “Whenever I had to write letters or fill in documents, he always helped me. He supported me to apply to university to study public health.”
Genuinely friends
Danny really came through for his refugee friend, impressed by his determination. “It was hard at first for him to adapt,” comments Danny, “but he is spectacularly tenacious, I really admire this in him.
"In a way I’m his professional guide, helping him with references, passport application, that sort of thing. But also, we’re genuinely friends. I have learned a huge amount, about him, his background, about Afghanistan. It’s certainly not all one-way traffic.”
The wide difference in their backgrounds has never mattered.
“I’m culturally Jewish, and he’s a devout Muslim, but he has never cared a jot. We talk about studies, jobs, housing, kids. We’re genuinely friends, and I’ll always keep this relationship with him.” DANNY
After an anxious wait, Abdullah’s family was able to join him and Danny was invaluable in helping them with the process of integration. This started out with having fun – an outing to the London Eye and a boat journey to Greenwich – but continued with more practical matters.
“He helped us so much with housing,” says Abdullah, “and he encouraged me to become a parent-governor at our children’s school in Camden. He also helped my wife get a job at a local school.”
A great refugee story
The family is now thriving here in the UK. “It has been delightful to meet the whole family,” says Danny. “Abdullah is extremely focused on study, and his sons and daughters are doing incredibly well as a result. One is a civil engineer, another an associate physician; then there are three studying aerospace, pharmaceutical science and medicine respectively – they are all so impressive! It’s a great refugee story.”
"I have certainly got as much out of befriending as he has. It’s a true friendship and I’m really grateful for that.” DANNY
When Abdullah got news of his British citizenship, he knew straightaway that Danny had to be at the ceremony. “It was really moving,” says his friend, “it was one of the most emotional things I have done in recent years."
And that’s not all. Danny was so struck by the value of finding friends for refugees, that he became Chair of the HostNation Board of Trustees. We're so grateful for his expertise. As for Abdullah, would he recommend having a befriender to another refugee? He replies at once:
“More than 100 per cent! But no other befriender can be as good as Danny, he is the best. Now I am a British citizen and I know my way around – but I still need Danny in my life.” ABDULLAH
