Our superpower
- harriet1811
- Jun 15
- 4 min read
Updated: Jun 25
HEALING THROUGH FRIENDSHIP
Before Khadim met Mark, he barely went out. Denied the right to work, without any London friends, he felt totally isolated. Life was tough.
“I was worrying, staying home alone,” he explains. “I was stressed and depressed, I didn’t do anything all day.” Khadim had been through some really bad experiences before arriving here in the UK as a refugee. What he needed most was a friend, someone to make him feel good again after the dark times.
A friend in deed
That’s where Mark stepped up. He had befriended refugees with us before and we knew he was great at making people feel welcome. Mark also understands the value of getting someone involved in their local community. It’s a wonderful antidote to feeling alone.
So after we introduced the two new friends, Mark had the brainwave of taking Khadim along to volunteer with him at a charity. Every week they help out, sorting surplus food at the Felix Project.
“We work really well together, we’re a very good team.” MARK, befriender
A chance to feel useful
Mark sees his role as “a friend who can help with advice, a reassuring presence.” The theme of this year's Refugee Week is all about the strength that community brings us, and the weekly chance to do something positive and feel useful makes all the difference to Khadim. “I really enjoy it,” he says. “Mark is a wonderful person.”
At HostNation we know that having local friend can open up a city to a lonely refugee, who might otherwise feel shy about engaging with the community.
Having a welcoming person to show you around and practise your English can really boost your confidence, as Khadim has found over 18 months of knowing Mark. Now instead of being stuck alone at home, he loves exploring London.
“Mark took me to visit a lot of places. We’ve been to restaurants, a big park, we went to the river and had some drinks and we’re planning to go for bike rides too. I really enjoy his company.” KHADIM, refugee, pictured at the Globe with Mark
They regularly come along to our supper clubs where Khadim meets other HostNation friends. London is looking like a much more welcoming place to him these days. As for Mark, he knows that befriending is never just a one-way street – it can be a truly fulfilling experience:
“I really enjoy my friendship with Khadim. He’s a lovely guy. I’m pleased to be able to do something to help.” MARK
Lauren & Usman: 100% rewarding
As Mark says, being part of something so positive is a boost to our befrienders as well as our refugee and asylum seeker friends.
Lauren, a professional dog walker, explains the joy she gets out of her friendship with asylum seeker Usman. Spending time with someone from such a different background has widened her horizon, as she says:
“It has definitely broadened my cultural perspective; we talk about cultural differences all the time. I have learned a lot from Usman. It has been 100% rewarding. I come home buzzing!” LAUREN, befriender
For Usman, finding Lauren has made a big difference to his mental health. Like most asylum seekers, the circumstances that drove him from home were extremely difficult. Then came the perilous journey to the UK, and navigating the asylum system. It’s been a huge strain.
“Lauren is very helpful and kind. When I’m stuck somewhere she helps me to sort out any problems. When we meet I feel relaxed and my mental health is better now than before.” USMAN, refugee
Antidote to anxiety
After a gentle start when Usman was still shy, the two have built trust and friendship over the last two years. Like Khadim, Usman is uplifted by getting out and spending time with a friend.
“We go together for walks, we go for coffee, we go together to yoga. My English is improving. It’s helpful for me to come out of my depression and anxiety. ” USMAN
They’ve visited museums, with Usman surprised at how many are free. Lauren has introduced him to that great British institution, the pub, reassuring him that he could have a soft drink.
“I was very shy and would never go into a pub, being Muslim,” he admits, “I thought they only served alcohol. But I was curious and after I went with Lauren I realise that I can enjoy coffee or a non-alcoholic drink. I'm more confident now.” They visit their local and play board games.
Lauren enjoys their long talks: “We had very open conversations from the start. Sometimes serious and deep, and sometimes silly! A good balance. It’s great having Usman as my friend. It’s really fun, really interesting.”
Community as superpower
Like Mark and Khadim, Lauren and Usman come to our HostNation supper clubs held at the American International Church in central London. After the last one, we received a beautiful thank you from Lauren, which sums up what we're all about:
“It warms my heart to be part of this loving community, especially in the increasingly difficult political situation in this country. I am so glad to have found you and all the wonderful friends that I see at each Host Nation event. It was great to see Usman jump up and get stuck into asking people questions. These events are building his confidence, and his faith in humanity!” LAUREN
This perfectly shows the super-power of community to bring people together, to forge ties of friendship and provide mutual support. And to have lots of fun in the process! We’re overjoyed to see all these good things happening before our eyes. As Usman says:
“Feeling like I have a friend here gives me more positive thoughts. It's my good fortune that I have found a very kind and trustworthy friend.” USMAN
